John and I broke up.
That’s why the lack in posts.
Not happy.
Update eventually.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
:D
Alright, so Quite a bit has happened since I last updated.
Kitty…Ran away and I hope she’s safe. Im going to miss that little sweetheart but maybe it’s for the best. She made me smile a lot and gave me something to do during the day. I think she comes back to eat every now and then so I always put food out still.
I’ve rekindled a lot of past friendships and I have never been busier, I haven't slept at my own house in about a week! I am experiencing the whole young adult thing now more than ever.
I won the redken haircolor virgin contest and get a free hair dye thing. So im going back to my natural hair color with some blonde in it. Nothing too crazy…at all.
I also got my belly button pierced, it was crazy and it hurt like fucking hell. But I’ve been told it looks REALLY good and natural, like it’s supposed to be there 
I also been over to Christina’s a lot (Nicks moms house) And hanging out, Cass loves my studded belt! So I went and got him one! He is the CUTEST little guy ever! And when I went to go get this belt I also got some taper’s so I could start gauging my ears, I am not gonna gauge them to big, just about a half an inch. I got through a 14 in about 3 days. So I ordered my 12 gauges on ebay. There black with sparkles 
And Also!
I Finally got a new phone! I went from a crap flip phone that couldn’t receive calls because the speaker was broken, couldn’t get on the interent because it was so old school, IT could take or receive pictures, nothing. To This beeauty! IT’s a blackberry knock off from virgin mobile but still..it’s the smartest phone Ive ever had! The plan is A LOT better too. 25 a month for unlimited web and text and 300 minutes instead of my plan which is 20 a month JUST for texting!
Now before you call me materialistic…just know..im not. It’s just my first paycheck…and its sweet.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Life works in mysterious ways.
I was pretty down and depressed, stressed and angry In less than 2 hours I lost my best friend (Trish, turns out she had been stealing from me for a very long time even though I ALWAYS gave her money when I could) John and I decided that we shouldn’t get married on a whim (which I really wanted to do, but logically its not what’s best right now) My hours sucked at work (I was working a total of 1 day this entire week and did the math and found out that I was only going to make 173 dollars and 40 cents and about 114 of that has to go to medical bills so I’ll only have 59 dollars left over. 
) And I was having problems with my family ( No one seemed to be proud of me, and I wasn’t “Responsible enough”, and actually kept criticizing my EVERY god damn move. Whether it was Gaining weight, looking like crap, eating the wrong thing or staying up to late. I was constantly wrong) Also, I cant seem to find one god damn friend who wont betray me, or walk all over me, or fall in love with me or like me. And I’m so fucking sick of it. I also found out that I wont be seeing john this weekend .
So I was pretty down in the dumps. Then I found this little ray of sunshine.
This is Kitty, I found her wandering the street scared and hungry, her coat was dirty and ratted, she was small, slow and skinny as hell. So I gave her some food, made her a bed, and gave her some water. She is the most sweetest little kitten alive. It was so cute, When I first saw her I called her over and gave her a slice of turkey and lead her to the back of the house where I could get some water and a bed made for her. And as soon as I went inside she must have gotten scared because she was again at the front door meowing. And then I came out and she was so lovey, and she followed me once again to the back. I got her settled in with a can of tuna and some water. Then I told my nana about her and she told me to not get attached and that I could take care of her til I found her home.
Then about a half hour later I was playing with her and she curled up in my lap and layed its head on my hand. I told my nana to come look and she did, I think my nana saw how much in love I was with this little kitten, so she told m I could bring the kitten inside, and she first tried to call the kitten in herself, everytime the kitten looked at me like “what am I supposed to do?!” So then I went inside,…opened the door…and she came right in. My nana said “That kitten reallly loves you!” And I smiled
Kitty walked through all the rooms, went under every bed and explored everything she could and then went back outside. She is so adorable.
I fed her once more and went inside to go to bed, when I couldn’t sleep due to a headache I went back outside about an hour later to check on her, and she was cuddled up in the bed I made her. Then I went back insid and a couple hours later heard a loud ass HISSSSS so I ran outside and saw a cat running away. When I went to find kitty She was by the door scared as all hell, tail perked up and everything. I calmed her down and snuggled her. Then I shut the door and sat down to watch TV. I heard her start meowing and went to make sure everything was ok, and sure enough she was fine. So I shut the door again and she did the same thing. Turned out she wanted me to keep the screen door open so she could see me. Everytime she would hear me leave the room, she would perk her head up and start meowing til she saw me again.
She slept by the door pretty much all night. Then it started raining pretty hard but she wouldn’t budge from the door, so I sat outside with her in the dry spot where she wouldn’t get wet until It stopped raining and she could dryly sleep by the door again. She is so precious.
I woke up today after finally going to bed at about 6 am to hear my papa telling me that the cat was gone and she went home, I went outside and said “Kitty!” and sure enough she was just behind the garage and she was running towards me
I put a found post on craigslist, talked to all my neighbors, and put up some flyers, no one has yet claimed her. If we cant find her a home, my nana said we could keep her as an outdoor cat. ( My papa is allergic) And then my nana gave my 5 bucks to go down to the seven eleven and get some real catfood for her. So I did, and as soon as I went outside she followed me to the end of our property and stayed there til I got back.
I love this little kitten, but I hope someone claims her, she deserves a better life then a outdoor cat.
But ever since I’ve had her in my life for this short amount of time, all my problems have worked themselves out, while I don’t have any friends still, I’ve got something to look after and take care of. I found out I will be working 4 days next week. John and I had a in depth talk and worked out all our tension, and my nana is…proud of me for taking imitative with this small creature.
) And I was having problems with my family ( No one seemed to be proud of me, and I wasn’t “Responsible enough”, and actually kept criticizing my EVERY god damn move. Whether it was Gaining weight, looking like crap, eating the wrong thing or staying up to late. I was constantly wrong) Also, I cant seem to find one god damn friend who wont betray me, or walk all over me, or fall in love with me or like me. And I’m so fucking sick of it. I also found out that I wont be seeing john this weekend . So I was pretty down in the dumps. Then I found this little ray of sunshine.
This is Kitty, I found her wandering the street scared and hungry, her coat was dirty and ratted, she was small, slow and skinny as hell. So I gave her some food, made her a bed, and gave her some water. She is the most sweetest little kitten alive. It was so cute, When I first saw her I called her over and gave her a slice of turkey and lead her to the back of the house where I could get some water and a bed made for her. And as soon as I went inside she must have gotten scared because she was again at the front door meowing. And then I came out and she was so lovey, and she followed me once again to the back. I got her settled in with a can of tuna and some water. Then I told my nana about her and she told me to not get attached and that I could take care of her til I found her home.
Then about a half hour later I was playing with her and she curled up in my lap and layed its head on my hand. I told my nana to come look and she did, I think my nana saw how much in love I was with this little kitten, so she told m I could bring the kitten inside, and she first tried to call the kitten in herself, everytime the kitten looked at me like “what am I supposed to do?!” So then I went inside,…opened the door…and she came right in. My nana said “That kitten reallly loves you!” And I smiled
Kitty walked through all the rooms, went under every bed and explored everything she could and then went back outside. She is so adorable.
I fed her once more and went inside to go to bed, when I couldn’t sleep due to a headache I went back outside about an hour later to check on her, and she was cuddled up in the bed I made her. Then I went back insid and a couple hours later heard a loud ass HISSSSS so I ran outside and saw a cat running away. When I went to find kitty She was by the door scared as all hell, tail perked up and everything. I calmed her down and snuggled her. Then I shut the door and sat down to watch TV. I heard her start meowing and went to make sure everything was ok, and sure enough she was fine. So I shut the door again and she did the same thing. Turned out she wanted me to keep the screen door open so she could see me. Everytime she would hear me leave the room, she would perk her head up and start meowing til she saw me again.
She slept by the door pretty much all night. Then it started raining pretty hard but she wouldn’t budge from the door, so I sat outside with her in the dry spot where she wouldn’t get wet until It stopped raining and she could dryly sleep by the door again. She is so precious.
I woke up today after finally going to bed at about 6 am to hear my papa telling me that the cat was gone and she went home, I went outside and said “Kitty!” and sure enough she was just behind the garage and she was running towards me
I put a found post on craigslist, talked to all my neighbors, and put up some flyers, no one has yet claimed her. If we cant find her a home, my nana said we could keep her as an outdoor cat. ( My papa is allergic) And then my nana gave my 5 bucks to go down to the seven eleven and get some real catfood for her. So I did, and as soon as I went outside she followed me to the end of our property and stayed there til I got back.
I love this little kitten, but I hope someone claims her, she deserves a better life then a outdoor cat.
But ever since I’ve had her in my life for this short amount of time, all my problems have worked themselves out, while I don’t have any friends still, I’ve got something to look after and take care of. I found out I will be working 4 days next week. John and I had a in depth talk and worked out all our tension, and my nana is…proud of me for taking imitative with this small creature.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Me Vs. The World.
I can honestly say everything sucks a ridiculous amount of ass right now. It’s really made me realize that I am on my own in this world. I can trust no one, I can believe in no one. It is truly just me. So I’ll walk these streets and do my own thing. I’ll do what I have to to get by. I will not be walked over or mistreated anymore. A word of advice, believe me when I say you mean nothing to this world. Just another figurine in a giant dollhouse, just a ball of energy that after you die will transfer into something else. Everyone is eventually forgotten. Life is a game of chance, and nothing more than materialistic survival for humans. I’m not sure when I will be able to update again. Wish me luck as I wish it to you.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Life As I Know It.
I LOVE Working at Spencers! LOVE IT! LOVE IT! LOVE IT! The guy I usually work with is a total asshole, but in one of those ways that you just love to be around. Like he gives everyone shit and is totally honest about it and it’s shocking that he said it, but it’s hilarious! I think I get along the most with him because I’m not nervous about doing something wrong, because if I am doing something wrong..he’ll call me out on it and make fun of me for it. But it really pushes me to get it right without the awkward “oh shit” pressure. Everyone else there is pretty cool too, but I find myself having a lot of awkward conversations.I’ve only worked 3 days but still. I dig it.
John came home for a week, and the first couple days it was hard…I felt like I didn’t really know him or our relationship.It felt foreign and unusual. I had been feeling that with everything lately, but It wore off. I have noticed that I’m not attached to my items or the internet as much lately. I just kinda want to hang out and waste my time doing something productive. I painted a couple ppictures…I havent done that in almost two years.. it was nice.
I’ve also been super sick this past week. With everything from terrible bladder infections (I know TMI) Wisdom Teeth pain, breast pain (another TMI) and the flu. It sucked because it was when John was in town. I didn’t get to spend that much time with him it was sad, but we did have a date day and it was awesome. He took me to the mall to do photobooth pictures (Which im a sucker for 
The redken contest is fucking stupid, I swear to god its fixed. And if they don’t care that shes cheating, they wont care that I help some of my friends get in the top ten to get there hair dyed with me!
But overall life is pretty good. I still need to get my GED and my license. But..it will come, I know I can do it 
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