iRock the bump!

Due to recent miracles I'm pregnant and will now be blogging about it in my new blog
iRock the bump!

John and I broke up.

That’s why the lack in posts.

Not happy.

Update eventually.

:D

Alright, so Quite a bit has happened since I last updated.

Kitty…Ran away and I hope she’s safe. Im going to miss that little sweetheart but maybe it’s for the best. She made me smile a lot and gave me something to do during the day. I think she comes back to eat every now and then so I always put food out still.

I’ve rekindled a lot of past friendships and I have never been busier, I haven't slept at my own house in about a week! I am experiencing the whole young adult thing now more than ever.

I won the redken haircolor virgin contest and get a free hair dye thing. So im going back to my natural hair color with some blonde in it. Nothing too crazy…at all.

I also got my belly button pierced, it was crazy and it hurt like fucking hell. But I’ve been told it looks REALLY good and natural, like it’s supposed to be there  

I also been over to Christina’s a lot (Nicks moms house) And hanging out, Cass loves my studded belt! So I went and got him one! He is the CUTEST little guy ever! And when I went to go get this belt I also got some taper’s so I could start gauging my ears, I am not gonna gauge them to big, just about a half an inch. I got through a 14 in about 3 days. So I ordered my 12 gauges on ebay. There black with sparkles So every week I update I’m going to post  a picture of what my ears are at. heres the 14 gauges.

And Also!

I Finally got a new phone! I went from a crap flip phone that couldn’t receive calls because the speaker was broken, couldn’t get on the interent because it was so old school, IT could take or receive pictures, nothing. To This beeauty! IT’s a blackberry knock off from virgin mobile but still..it’s the smartest phone Ive ever had! The plan is A LOT better too. 25 a month for unlimited web and text and 300 minutes instead of my plan which is 20 a month JUST for texting!

 

Now before you call me materialistic…just know..im not. It’s just my first paycheck…and its sweet.

Life works in mysterious ways.

I was pretty down and depressed, stressed and angry In less than 2 hours I lost my best friend (Trish, turns out she had been stealing from me for a very long time even though I ALWAYS gave her money when I could) John and I decided that we shouldn’t get married on a whim (which I really wanted to do, but logically its not what’s best right now) My hours sucked at work (I was working a total of 1 day this entire week and did the math and found out that I was only going to make 173 dollars and 40 cents and about 114 of that has to go to medical bills so I’ll only have 59 dollars left over. ) And I was having problems with my family ( No one seemed to be proud of me, and I wasn’t “Responsible enough”, and actually kept criticizing my EVERY god damn move. Whether it was Gaining weight, looking like crap, eating the wrong thing or staying up to late. I was constantly wrong) Also, I cant seem to find one god damn friend who wont betray me, or walk all over me, or fall in love with me or like me. And I’m so fucking sick of it. I also found out that I wont be seeing john this weekend .
So I was pretty down in the dumps. Then I found this little ray of sunshine.
This is Kitty, I found her wandering the street scared and hungry, her coat was dirty and ratted, she was small, slow and skinny as hell. So I gave her some food, made her a bed, and gave her some water. She is the most sweetest little kitten alive. It was so cute, When I first saw her I called her over and gave her a slice of turkey and lead her to the back of the house where I could get some water and a bed made for her. And as soon as I went inside she must have gotten scared because she was again at the front door meowing. And then I came out and she was so lovey, and she followed me once again to the back. I got her settled in with a can of tuna and some water. Then I told my nana about her and she told me to not get attached and that I could take care of her til I found her home.
Then about a half hour later I was playing with her and she curled up in my lap and layed its head on my hand. I told my nana to come look and she did, I think my nana saw how much in love I was with this little kitten, so she told m I could bring the kitten inside, and she first tried to call the kitten in herself, everytime the kitten looked at me like “what am I supposed to do?!” So then I went inside,…opened the door…and she came right in. My nana said “That kitten reallly loves you!” And I smiled
Kitty walked through all the rooms, went under every bed and explored everything she could and then went back outside. She is so adorable.
I fed her once more and went inside to go to bed, when I couldn’t sleep due to a headache I went back outside about an hour later to check on her, and she was cuddled up in the bed I made her. Then I went back insid and a couple hours later heard a loud ass HISSSSS so I ran outside and saw a cat running away. When I went to find kitty She was by  the door scared as all hell, tail perked up and everything. I calmed her down and snuggled her. Then I shut the door and sat down to watch TV. I heard her start meowing and went to make sure everything was ok, and sure enough she was fine. So I shut the door again and she did the same thing. Turned out she wanted me to keep the screen door open so she could see me. Everytime she would hear me leave the room, she would perk her head up and start meowing til she saw me again.
She slept by the door pretty much all night. Then it started raining pretty hard but she wouldn’t budge from the door, so I sat outside with her in the dry spot where she wouldn’t get wet until It stopped raining and she could dryly sleep by the door again. She is so precious.
I woke up today after finally going to bed at about 6 am to hear my papa telling me that the cat was gone and she went home, I went outside and said “Kitty!” and sure enough she was just behind the garage and she was running towards me
I put a found post on craigslist, talked to all my neighbors, and put up some flyers, no one has yet claimed her. If we cant find her a home, my nana said we could keep her as an outdoor cat. ( My papa is allergic) And then my nana gave my 5 bucks to go down to the seven eleven and get some real catfood for her. So I did, and as soon as I went outside she followed me to the end of our property and stayed there til I got back.
I love this little kitten, but I hope someone claims her, she deserves a better life then a outdoor cat.
But ever since I’ve had her in my life for this short amount of time, all my problems have worked themselves out, while I don’t have any friends still, I’ve got something to look after and take care of.  I found out I will be working 4 days next week. John and I had a in depth talk and worked out all our tension, and my nana is…proud of me for taking imitative with this small creature.

Me Vs. The World.

I can honestly say everything sucks a ridiculous amount of ass right now. It’s really made me realize that I am on my own in this world. I can trust no one, I can believe in no one. It is truly just me. So I’ll walk these streets and do my own thing. I’ll do what I have to to get by. I will not be walked over or mistreated anymore. A word of advice, believe me when I say you mean nothing to this world. Just another figurine in a giant dollhouse, just a ball of energy that after you die will transfer into something else. Everyone is eventually forgotten. Life is a game of chance, and nothing more than materialistic survival for humans. I’m not sure when I will be able to update again. Wish me luck as I wish it to you.

And here I am again,









No one else is here.

Life As I Know It.

I LOVE Working at Spencers! LOVE IT! LOVE IT! LOVE IT! The guy I usually work with is a total asshole, but in one of those ways that you just love to be around. Like he gives everyone shit and is totally honest about it and it’s shocking that he said it, but it’s hilarious! I think I get along the most with him because I’m not nervous about doing something wrong, because if I am doing something wrong..he’ll call me out on it and make fun of me for it. But it really pushes me to get it right without the awkward “oh shit” pressure. Everyone else there is pretty cool too, but I find myself having a lot of awkward conversations.I’ve only worked 3 days but still. I dig it.

John came home for a week, and the first couple days it was hard…I felt like I didn’t really know him or our relationship.It felt foreign and unusual. I had been feeling that with everything lately, but It wore off. I have noticed that I’m not attached to my items or the internet as much lately. I just kinda want to hang out and waste my time doing something productive. I painted a couple ppictures…I havent done that in almost two years.. it was nice.

I’ve also been super sick this past week. With everything from terrible bladder infections (I know TMI) Wisdom Teeth pain, breast pain (another TMI) and the flu. It sucked because it was when John was in town. I didn’t get to spend that much time with him it was sad, but we did have a date day and it was awesome. He took me to the mall to do photobooth pictures (Which im a sucker for ) Then we went and checked out this new 9/11 memorial, it was pretty cool, Then we went for a romantic dinner at olive garden, it was really nice and it made me really happy, I absolutely love that man. After dinner we went to see Cowboys Vs. Aliens it was pretty fucking badass. Overall it was a great day! and We found our new love and obsession…Chicken Viola! IT’s healthy and REALLY FUCKING GOOD! one giant bag is supposed to feed six people…but we ate it all in one night while having a lord of the rings marathon.

The redken contest is fucking stupid, I swear to god its fixed. And if they don’t care that shes cheating, they wont care that I help some of my friends get in the top ten to get there hair dyed with me!

But overall life is pretty good. I still need to get my GED and my license. But..it will come, I know I can do it I’ve got all the support in the world.

Dear you,

You deserve better than that, you aren't some piece of trash that people can abuse when they want to. Your my best friend, you don’t do anyone any wrong. Your sweet, gorgeous, loving and precious, without you…I don’t know where I would be. You make my life better in so many ways dude.  That’s not right what happened, what pisses me off the most is that it happened to you. You are the last person in the universe who deserves that. Why life continuosly screws you over…I don’t know. But there is always a light, you’ve got amazing friends that love you and would and are going to kill for you if they ever track down those pathetic fucking assholes. I just hope you know that If you need us…all of your friends, especially me, I’m just a text away. I can be anywhere in  heartbeat, do anything I can. I never realized how much I love you dude, until tonight. And the fact that you were worried about giving me a ride! Jeezus! haha. I know one day you’ll read this and you’ll know its about you. I love you so very much and I always got your back. This didn’t need to happen to you. Fuck them. I hope they sober up, realize what they have done, and kill themselves then just because they xist I hope there is some kind of hell that they can go to. Fuck them.

What’s your deal?

Maybe it’s the change of seasons that I was so excited for yesterday, maybe it’s just being alone today, maybe it’s john coming home tomorrow. I don’t know what’s going on or why I feel like this. It’s not a good feeling, I’m very worried. My dreams are getting more ridiculous and vivid. And my thoughts grow more…anxious I guess? I thought I knew who I was, but it seems each day I forget a little bit more. I can sit and stare at something for hours and I know it’s mine, I know it belongs to me. But I just don’t really care, I don’t really want it to be mine and I don’t really value it’s memories. Then there will be times where I sit and anazlyze a moment in my life. I’ve probably gone through each and every memory I have doing that. And nothing makes sense.

Maybe John needs to come home, I just wish he would stay longer.

Living the life.

Summer is ending, fall is creeping up and I feel wonderful. I can’t wait for the memories that fall will bring, the time I will get to spend with my love, my friends, my family and at my job. Getting things done, and just enjoying life. Fall is so chill ya know? It’s just…nice, relaxing.

Life has been pretty amazing. I actually think this is the happiest I’ve been in a long, long, long time. But then again it could just be my clean room and the sun spilling in through the window while listening to an acoustic band that’s giving m this chill happy mood. Either way it’s nice, if only I could feel like this all the time. I have been hanging with Trish the past couple days, it’s been much needed. It’s that time where I realize that she is totally my best friend. I think this week when it’s super nice out we are going to get some coffee, go to a park and read books all day. That’s what I like about our friendship, things are just simple. I think things are gonna be getting better for her and me. She got a job at Jack in the Box, and maybe another one at coinstar/redbox. And I got my shit almost complete to start work, I just have to finish some paperwork, I gotta call thursday so tomorrow morning and find out when I go in for work! I’m super stoked! I just need to finish getting my GED now, and john’s coming back soon to teach me how to drive. I’m really excited, I actually have been having the urge to just drive around lately, just like…me time. These past couple days I have been in a odd state of mind though. Like, I would really like me time, but I don’t want to b alone. But at the same time, like…I’ve never been happier with my life… I know that a huge decision is going to have to be made soon, but I’ll leave it alone for as long as I can. This is the time in my life where I live.

Friend application.

I am looking for someone to fill the position as a new friend, good quality hangout friend. Someone who won’t ditch me for other friends, and if you do have a group of other friends, invite me out once in a while, I need someone who can always be there for me. And likes jack in the box and late nights running the streets. I need a friend who isnt new to partying their ass off, but doesn’t like to do it too often. Someone who won’t fall in love or want to have sex with me. I need a friend who I can text total nonsense too and they will totally get it. And someone who is in a relationship that way I don’t get ditched for guys or your old ex gf. I need someone who likes to go to local shows of all sorts and is open to new experiences. Oh and you must be between the ages of 18 and 20. Also, drama queens will not be accepted.

 

IF you fit these qualifications please feel free to email me your name and number so we can meet and hang.

Interesting.

I’m not sure how to start this. I’ve tried to set the right mood, but  no matter where I go, what I turn on, or how I’m sitting I just don’t feel it. Maybe because It’s a hard subject to write about, maybe because I’m not ready to write about it. But either way, changes are going to be made, and for the better. This blog is a little different then most. I will be covering every aspect of my life and how I’m going to change it. This is more for me then for my readers, either way, it just needs to get out. This week has really opened my eyes.

My friends, I have a lot of friends. But I have come to realize that I’m growing apart from everyone. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m no fun to be around, or maybe I’m too much fun, or maybe they are more mature than me, or maybe I have come to be more mature than them. I’m not sure but I guess it’s time to be on my own socially. Which sucks because I love being around people. I think that new friends are a must. I just need to find people that bring out the good in me. I mean, I still love and hope to hang out with my old friends but I mean I cant stop the inevitable I know everyone grows apart at some time.

Family, my family is fucked, were screwed, we have shit in our past. I cant tell if I just want things to be normal, or if I want to keep as much space as possible. Or maybe a little of both. I want things to be normal, I would really like that, and I know that there is a lot I would have to do on my part. But, I want more than anything to be on my own because It seems that every little thing that they help me with is the one thing that keeps me from going much further. The one little thing they help me with turns out being “all the shit I help you with and do for you” I just wish people would step back and look at themselves and see how ridiculously stupid they can be. Maybe that’s not the right thing to say but that’s exactly how I feel.

My lover. Everything is going amazing here. I love this man more than I could love anything or anyone. He is my entire world. My universe, the one person that I know will always be there. I have really realized how much I love this man, and every day, I fall in love with him just a little more. And it’s an amazing feeling. I love that it’s not “if” were going to get married its not “if” we live together it’s not “if” we grow old together. It’s when. and it’s coming. Johns almost done with school, I got a job. We can finally start the life we have been looking forward too. Absolutely nothing needs to change here. <3

Work. I’m going to put my all into this job. I am so excited to start, so excited to finally have an income so I can start saving for John and I’s life. And I’m very excited to work at Spencer’s. I like Spencer’s because I don’t have to be someone I’m not, I don’t have to dress like a business women, I can keep my piercing. I mean I know I still have to act professional, but that’s just having respect and being responsible, I do that anyway. Either way, I’m excited to be apart of the team. Even if just about everyone there would rather work at Hot Topic (which frankly I don’t see why).

Driving, I’m so excited to finally learn, my nana has told me that she is going to take me out and teach me a little something. And so Is john, I just have to get my permit back from Justin Which I’m doing tomorrow when I go check out Justin and Matt’s new apartment. I’m really excited, this job is exactly what I needed to be motivated to actually start my life.

GED, Since I got a job, I’m not going back to highschool, I’m  going to continue trying to get my GED with the help of some friends and a math tutor. I’m going to call up on it tomorrow.

Basically whats changing is the mental growing up part. It’s time I make the transition to partial mentality of an adult to full. I mean I still plan on having fun and going to shows of all kinds and still having fun. I just need to focus more on my responsibilities. Oh and this weekend, I’m getting an ipod. I’m stoked. I had to sell my last one because I really needed the money.

Thanks for reading and following. I get about 200-400 views on this thing everyday So I know someone out there is reading and can relate. I wish you the very best.

Spencer’s: My lucky store.

So, Yeah,

Guess who got a job.
This chick RIGHT HERE!

Now guess where at.

…

…

I’m waiting.

YOU GUESSED RIGHT! At Spencers! I’m so stoked! I'm going to do so well there I just know it! The people seem so nice, and it will certainly push me to continue on getting life moving Now Instead of going back to school I’m going to get my GED and John’s going to teach me to drive! I’m so excited! Life is going so amazing! I re-connected with my father, and I’m involved in the music scene more than EVER! (check out my “Music to my ears” for a new band) John and I, are relationship is great and I’m just all around ahppy right now! I feel  a change in me, a very good change. Especially recently. Sometihng to make me a better person. I’ve rekindled a lot of old friendships. Now all I have to do is carry on and see where life takes me!

Dear life, you are so awesome right now!

I feel amazing.
And  NO im not on drugs!

Haha, I seriously feel awesome though. Yesterday was a bit of a drag but today was better, I actually talked with a lot of people via facebook and made new connections, made plans and guess what! there is a rave EVERYWEEKEND this month, I'm making it a routine to dance everynight too! that way i can shed some weight and wear a really cute outfit to these things!
I'm working on a ton of projects right now and i'd like to tell you about some of them!
1. My rave outfits, I am finding ways to alter my lingerie so I can wear them! All of them i am sportin my tiara with because I am a PRINCESS!
2. gonna be starting a new blog based on the music scene here, there is a lot of talent that goes unnoticed. So i want to help em out!
3. Going to be working on some business cards and a logo for  a venue thats opening this weekend!
4. Im going to make some "Candy" and 5. work on johns stuff.
Ok so i guess its not that much. But its enough.

A lot of people i have noticed come to me for resources, i have never realy noticed how much i am the "go to girl" for musicians of all kinds. It's kinda awesome, and i have also realized how many hidden talents i have, like the dancing, i mean i have been dancing since i was about 11 in my room in front of the mirror and i was always embarrassed to dance in front of people, but i really feel confident in it now, like I KNOW im good and i know I look good, HUGE self esteem boost!

Theres a rave every weekend this month and john is coming with me to one. im stoked for him to try it out, i think he'll like it...


maybe.

Something I am worried about though...is the ex that shall not be named. I remembered that he sometimes went to these things. Not sure if he does anymore. I just hope he doesnt, but if he does. I'm going to dance my ass off, look hella hot, and not even give him a glance or a milli second of attention.   I am also hoping that john becomes comfortable with the guys i go with and maybe allows me to dance with them. But then again, i would be angry if he danced with a girl like that...so i can see where hes coming from. anyway life is good im staying busy and being intensly creative! If you wanna see my dancing check out the youtube! the link should be somewhere -------> over here on the side thing!

My first rave! (and other rants)

Been diggin this song! Listen to it!!! It’s just awesome!

So, last night I went to my first rave. It was very cool, definitely something I would do again and again. At first I was REALLY self conscience to dance. But then I just decided to say fuck it and dance my heart out, FOUR of my exes were there! wait…no…three! All in which I still talk to and were friends and shit. I think my favorite part of the night was when I was outside and then I heard Skrillex’s song “Rock n roll (Will take you to the mountain)” I RAN inside and danced my ass off. It was soo much fun. I was told that I did pretty damn good for my first time dancing haha. One of my good guy friends and I danced too, it was pretty fun, we definitely rocked the floor for a good 4 minutes everyone clapping for us and shit. Trish came with me, but ended up leaving.which was sad. I also ran into A LOT of old friends. So I rekindled some old friendships, everyone there was extremely nice. The music was good too, but I prefer dancing to songs I know just because the movements arent so random and unexpected, I like to know whats ahead.

I don’t know why, but when I left the rave and got home, I really felt bad about going. Like, I didn’t tell john much about it, just the basics really, but I didn’t tell him all the super fun stuff. Maybe its because we were both tired…idk. But, I’m going to keep going to raves just to dance, I figured, it’s a good way to lose weight and maybe relieve some stress too.

So now that I had my awesome party night, its time to get back down to business. I kinda feel like im back at square one. I’m gonna go get my shots, and try one more week to get a job. I hear the walmart closest to me is hiring like everyone who applies! so im going to try that.

Oh, and I really really really love john. Very much.

Sobriety is a bitch.

I Have been listening to this song non stop. Check it.

Sobriety.  There’s two different kinds. Theres the kind in which you just look at life around you and go, “ OH SHIT! I need to wake the fuck up and DO something.” and then theres the kind when you sober up from alcohol (Alkaboooooze) and/or Drugs and just wanna sleep the day away.

 

I am suffering from both at the moment. I’m actually quite torn in half. I wanna party. I wanna live the ultimate life. And I have had every chance to do so. I want to go out, I want to not have a care in the world for one night and during this night, I want to not remember what I did the next day. I want to let loose. This is a big reason why I don’t want kids. They suck, they stop you from sexy time, they make you fat, they are TERRIBLE things.

This past week I have been intoxicated everyday and just sat back and listened to dubstep, I sat there and I believe every thought that could possibly come through my mind did. I thought about everything and what I really want.  I thought about this glamorous party life I could have, the trips I could take with the rock stars I meet, the news headlines I could make. I could easily attain fame by association, hell maybe even get my own reality show.

And then theres the life that is more…responsible. The life where I have the basics, I get my high school diploma, can drive and work at a store for a year and a half and then go to spokane to live with john. But just because it’s the rest of my life with john, it all seems worth it. To throw away all the possible partying, the care freeness, everything.

Right now, I’m definitely stuck in between worlds. When john’s not here in town, I hang out with my friends Trish and Vaughn (Below) and we always have a good time, we usually just linger to parks. Bored. But still we always have a good time. The chances that Trish and I usually have to party it up we do, and usually the night ends in pointless conversations with guys who wish I was single. I never get crazy if Johns not there.

 

Anyway, Trish and I tomorrow are going to our first Rave? Electronica show? I’m not sure which it is. but I’m excited for the turnout. It should be fun, a lot of my friends are going. I’ll post a pic to how I dress up. nothing too racy, probably just a pink tank with some short ass shorts. haha, ass shorts.

 

Back on the subject of two worlds though, It’s like, Im postponing everything in the responsible world just to have one last hurrah in the party world. But that one last hurrah hasn’t came yet. Maybe it will tomorrow. Maybe not. Either way, next week I’m getting back down to business. Im scared. but…I think im more afraid of becoming an adult. I don’t want to let go quite yet, I don’t have any safety nets below me anymore.

In other news: My youtube sucks because I cant figure out how to upload videos where the audio is synced up with the video.

I got a new sketchbook.

I love dubstep.

And I had a really fucking cool interview, and I really hope I hear back from them.

Hello World.

Oh yeah, hey, it’s the world again! I took a break from blogging because my boyfriend came down for a week! It was pretty awesome. A lot has happened in the past week. John came home, I had a interview somewhere awesome! Found a new fixation…and john one too! haha. Getting ready to take off atm. Trish And I are going to go do something awesome.

So first of all I had a interview at Spencers, It went VERY well, I’m looking to hear back from them. I’m excited, I need to call them though and change the number haha. Johns phone completely broke, Like BLAM everywhere. not really, but that would be cool if it did explode. The only thing he can do is receive calls, its sad and we have had a hell of a time trying to replace it.

I still havent got my shots. I know, I suck. It’s cool though, I’ll get to it. I gotta get going but I’ll blog more tonight  

 

OH, And I have found dubstep. And it makes me oh so happy.

Inspiration.

I am STILL stoked about Bert McCracken responding to my video response!!! EEEP! As for another thing I wan't to  thank everyone for making this blog so successful. I'm up to 615 views in just the last 4 or 5 days! I personally, think that is amazing! Maybe not... but as long as I'm satisfied right?! BTW below is a pic of him wearing MY sunglasses! Teeehee! <3

So today was a pretty damn good day! I hung out with my friend trish and vaughn and we did the usual run arounds to the parks and stuff. It was great, I talked to john quite a bit( <3 that man) and I am so stoked on starting my youtube channel. I just did the layout today, and have one video uploaded.  I'm going to do some short ones everyday until i get about 30 subscribers. I am also going to start using my twitter more (get at me @CamilleRain) and just gonna make my hobby trying to become a internet sensation! Not for fame, just for a hobby really. Anyway, my boyfriend and I are going to start doing some cutesy vlogs and a shared blog as well (only without the cutesy part). I Would really like some more feedback from my readers, whether it's a facebook message, a tweet, or a comment below. GET AT ME WITH YO COMMENTS!

Melting into a puddle of happy.

I AM SO FRIGGEN HAPPY RIGHT NOW! In fact so happy, I'm putting a VLOG into my BLOG because I dont wanna type it all out! So Check out the V in the B action below!

...wait...eww

Here is the link to the video response I did to them :http://www.youtube.com/user/CamilleRainART?feature=mhee

I know that you know that I know.

Yeah, I’m onto you, I’ve figured you out. I’ve been playing detective. I’m more computer smart than you think.

As for the contest, I think I’m just gonna lay back for awhile, I have too much other shit that need’s to be done to worry about a two month long contest. The trip to LA would be cool, but as long as I can get my hair dyed, I don’t really care.

Now, sadly enough, the paper route thing, isn’t gonna work, you need your own transportation, in which I don’t have. And I’m not willing to walk around this ghetto fab town at 3:30 in the morning to deliver paper. That’s a murder waiting to happen. So, im not sure what I’m going to do about my medical bills. I asked john what happens if I cant pay them and he told me collectors come and take away stuff I have bought that I don’t need. I don’t have anything… I don’t buy anything. So what could they possibly take? I hate money. Also for school, when I start, I am going to have to do the poor kid thing and ask the school to help me out with supplies. I can’t afford them. Money is such a stressful issue. I think the Native American's had the right idea about trading.

I don’t have too much to say today for the sake of being tired and restless at the same time. I feel so stressed out. Going to watch a movie, listen to the thunder and plan for my last few days ahead.

Excitement in the air.

Yes, I LOVE this blog, I love writing it, I love finding subject’s for it, I love taking time on it, I like thinking about it. I LOVE IT! I am doing two posts a day Totally dig it. I wanted to update a few minor details, about what’s going on in my life.

I am getting a paper route, I’m actually staying up super late tonight so I can call them early tomorrow. It’s a hour and a half for 540 dollars a month. It’s good start out money and will hopefully teach me some money management. Right now the goal is to save 350 a month from it (to save for a nice place for John and I to have) and the rest for spending cash. I wonder if I can still get a food stamp card if I have a paper route…let me look it up. (4 minutes later) I can’t seem to find anything on it…but anyway, Hopefully with the paper route I can start ASAP and pay my 100 dollars in medical bills. Also, getting a route would require that I get up at about…3:45 because all papers have to be delivered by 5:30 and then I can come home and get ready for school.

Speaking of school, the more I think about it, the more excited I get. For example, I’m excited to finally be doing something. I have been meaning to lose weight for so long, I weigh a good 145-150 and I’m 5’8 I want to lose weight, I think 130 would be good for me. A nice healthy weight. And school would do that for sure, I lose weight REALLY easily. I also plan on taking a 0 hour and a 7th hour. I’m telling you, I mean business this time around.

I also figured out that I will more than likely be able to graduate within a year. Because I have half a junior year of credits from doing online school. So I can go in being a junior and then next semester be a Senior than do summer school….hmmm…actually, I didn’t think of the summer school thing before…

 

So yeah, I just figured it out, I go to high school, at the end of the first semester I will be a senior, then I take the next semester of school and when that’s over I’ll have one more semester left which I can probably do in the summer. And it will only be like two classes since I’m taking 0 hour’s and 7th hour’s the whole time. HELL YEAH! FUCK’N SMART!

 

 

I’m also REALLY excited to have access to a library! I LOVE reading! LOVE it! haha, man, im going to be a busy bee! I’m also really hoping to get to T.A. for Miss Perkins. I’m counting on it. But I’m going to take all the classes I need. So maybe not.

 

OH! And, I’m finally getting contact’s again! Thanks to my nana! So stoked, These glasses are cutting into my ears so deeply. It’s odd, their super tight but they fall off so easily!

I am also going to ask everyone, that is still reading to look at my post below, and watch the video that Is posted on it and read about the organization. Good amazing stuff right there. Anyway, I would like to say one more thing to my friend Emily,

CONGRATS ON GETTING ENGAGED!!!

I ENVY YOU COMPLETELY! IN FACT I ENVY YOU  SO MUCH THAT THE TEXT TURNED GREEN!

 

Other than that, I just wanna say I love my man very, very much and I hope I see you soon <3

And to everyone else…be sure to check out the rest of the blog, tabs up top. And if you have any suggestions, questions or comments feel free to leave anything you wish.

You adapt to the ones you love.

This video is beautiful in all way's and it hit me very, very, very hard.  It reminded me of the good ole days having crushes in class. It reminded me of the day's I have with my love, and it reminds me of the life that is to come. Love is an amazing thing.

Oh the last 24 hours, oh my what to say about the last 24 hours.  Yesterday I hung out with my friend Justin and Matt, all the talk about Pasco High on the blog made me really miss those guys. We have been friends since about...6th grade. Matt is a lot closer to me than Justin, Matt was my best guy friend, he would call me everyday, when I got hurt he was always the first to ask "Who's ass do I need to kick?" Matt and I grew up together, we matured together. And we always had good times. For a long time Justin and I were more acquaintance  and then the years went by, I stopped getting calls from matt and hardly ever saw Justin. I changed schools, and then in high school, went back. It kinda sucked when I went back because things weren't the same, Justin and Matt are BEST friends. And they both liked me...very much. It made things very difficult. But even still times were fun. Justin and I got a lot closer and I do consider him a VERY very good friend. He's one of those guys that everyone knows and everyone trust's if you got him as a friend, through thick and thin, he's got your back. 

So Justin and I hung out yesterday, we went to Howard Amon ( a park)  and Matt eventually came along. And omg, when I saw matt I ran and hugged him. I think I might be the only female used to his hugs, he hugs HARD. But I was SO excited to see him! Sadly though, he's not my best friend matt anymore. He's someone new. I still see a little bit of the old matt in him. Not much though. Anyway, we went around the park and played in the water it was super fun, had good times. And then 9 o clock rolled around and we went to rays (A venue where local bands play) It was Rhema's last homewtown show for a while. And I've been a supporter since the beginning, but had never actually seen them play! It was fun I had a good time. The rest of the bands sucked. I am not one for hardcore/metalcore/whatevercore music. If I'm going to go to a concert, I wanna headbang to the point where my neck hurts for three days after. You just cant do that at hardcore shows! So instead I hung around talked to my buddy brett for a while, we caught up. It was nice. Justin had left by then to go to try to make things right with his ex gf. So while I waited I got hit on by fucking drunk hardcore kids, and while yes some were mildly attractive, they were all assholes and I couldnt stay in a conversation for more than five minutes. As soon as I told them I was taken, they had no interest in me. One guy actually came up to me and said:

Guy that looked like a rainbow sheet with hair: "Hey, do you have a boyfriend?"

Me: "Yeah...."

Guy that looked like a rainbow sheet with hair: "Oh...I was coming over here in hope that you would hit on me, but ya know, whatever" and left.

It's ok though, the rainbow sheet, had justin bieber hair. Not cool.

Then justin came back...a absolute mess, so we talked for a while and i gave him advice. 

Today sucked. all day, not gonna go into detail, but john and I have issues, i just hope we can get past them. I'm sure we will. Issues take time, habits die out.

I plan on kicking it with justin and matt again soon, I love those guys and I know john will too. Anyway. I'm tired and hungry, so check out the Rhema review I did in the "Music to my ears" section and also check out "how to get free tickets to just about every show" in the how to section :)

CHECK THIS OUT!

Today's organization is called A.F.A.R. I'm going to copy and paste a portion of their about me because I honestly can't say how amazing this group is by myself "

About

A.F.A.R. is a coalition started by Bay Area drummer Chris Kontos, formerly of Machine Head, Testament and more recently a revival of the Bay Area crossover band, Attitude Adjustment.

The IRAQI band Acrassicauda, of Heavy Metal in Baghdad fame, had a long road to relocation to the U.S. with the assistance of VICE magazine. But they are now here and living on the East Coast and currently on their first full tour of the United States! They have set a precedence for many other musicians to escape threat in their respective countries.

Chris has been in contact with others from Iraq, Iran and South Africa about what they face as metal musicians in those respective countries."

If you want to help AMAZING artists check it out! Theres a link below :) Help spread the word by likeing the page and inviting your friends :)

http://www.causes.com/causes/627502-alliance-for-artist-rescue-a-f-a-r

Periods, contests and boyfriend. Too late to function.

So I am in immense pain and from the title of the blog I'm sure you can tell why :p So here is a awesome hilarious picture about...well. periods. And while your looking at the picture read about the other two things in the title, contest's and boyfriends.  So as for contests, I would like to talk about the "Redken haircolor virgin" contest. I am doing GREAT in it and the competetion is fun. Now the boyfriend of the competetion...ahaha he just makes me LOL. He goes out of his way to cause drama. and all im going to say is come at me, i'll come at you twice as hard.But besides that, twitter is honestly my best bet in this competetion. I have so many people with thousands upon thousands of followers helping me! I havent slept much these past two days because I have been working so hard to get votes in this contest, and I will continue to be sleep deprived dammit! Now you may be asking yourself..." Why is she losing sleep over this?!" and the answer is simple.  Because contests make me happy.  I feel like im actually accomplishing something when I am in a contest, and I feel so happy and relieved when I win and its over! I'm addicted! I get a rush from getting votes! I like the hard work (and the excuse to be on the computer all day!)  I am constantly on all forms of social networking sites, it's a bit ridiculous :p But, whatever it takes to win. Fair fight!

Now I have mentioned my man a few times on here, I think it's time to put a picture up of him and tell everyone a little bit about him :) He is 22 years of age, and he is a amazing. He goes to the art institute for audio engineering.  He's almost done with school too! His favorite band is slayer, and he's a old school metal head :) Funny thing is though...he doesnt act like it. Like...when you think metal heads you think of guys that do drugs all the time, act like their way cooler than you, and everything needs to be bloody and gutsy.  But no, he is not fake, he does not feed into the stereotype. And thats what I love about him.  He is the silliest man on earth, completely random! And he LOVES kitties! He cheeses up at kitties the way grandmas cheese up at their newborn grandchilderen! Another cool fact about him is that he can play any instrument pretty much to some degree. He is best on guitar he has been playing for 9 years. He is VERY good. He is very sweet, very fun and just an incredible man. His friends idolize him, and he completes me. We have been together for a year and a half, and It's like my first time being in love. It just might be my first time being REALLY in love. yes we have had our downfalls. But...we always make it through. He is my everything, my other half and my best friend :)

Honey, this is a drama free zone.

So I gotta say, I LOVE this blog. Within the first day I've gotten 120 views! AMAZING! So if your reading  this...thank you :) Oh! And be sure to check out the tab's at the top of the page! their *NEW* haha (I've always wanted to do that :p

"Escape Veloctiy: The speed at which a body must travel 

to escape the gravitational pull of another body"

"Hard Love" by Ellen Wittlinger I can't tell you how many times I have read this book. It's amazing.

Now down to business. Not much has happened today besides cramps, I've been promoting the crap out of the contest to get more votes. I'm taking a break atm. My love is going to help me later on it :). I've been thinking about this whole "going back to high school" business, and it's going to suck. But only because of the small tedious details, like: Waking up early, going to bed early, lame teachers, test's, running the mile and other fitness classes. I'm actually REALLY fricken excited to go back and take Web Design and hopefully get to T.A. for Ms. Perkins! (Who got married and goes by another name now)

Ms. Perkins is the shit. I remember the first time I walked into her classroom I asked out "Excuse me where is the teacher" to this chick who had straight black hair, thick black eye liner, combat boots and "alternative" professional wear, she had four tattoos and had her lipped pierce, this chick then smiled, pointed at herself and said "I am the teacher" I knew we would get a long just fine.

I took her AP class and it intrigued me so much I was there 1st hour, 3rd hour, lunch and usually fifth hour as well. Some days I skipped just about every class and went and chilled with her. Of course I couldn't tell her that I was skipping my other classes. Not ever sure if she figured it out or not. :p Her classroom was amazing. Decked out in art, paper mach'e skulls and halloween lights and props! Then her "Personal space" was decked out in "The Nightmare Before Christmas" stickers, dolls, poster's EVERYTHING. It was awesome, she always had cool music going and was just...awesome. That's also where I met one of my best friends. Trish, she is to say the least...insane, she always knows how to have a good time and put a smile on my face, we have the BEST adventures. (thats trish above)

Sadly, this time around I'm not sure if I can take her class or not or if I will be able to TA. I certainly wont skip. I hopefully can chill in their during lunch. This time high school means business. I am going to try my hardest to stay out of the socialness of it. I honestly don't want friends. too distracting. I need to give my classes my all. It's sad. The only person who believes I can do it is my boyfriend. My mother, and my grandmother don't believe that I will actually do it. I am going to give them the biggest eff you in the face by doing better then I ever have. This time it will be easier, no home drama and support from my man.

I'm almost enrolled, all I have to do is go get my shots. Tdap and Varicella or some shit. Totalled that's 32 dollars. OH! I got my first bill yesterday! NO BUENO! I'm not really sure what to do. I don't have a job, and I have been trying for almost three years now TO get one. There not too exspensive, ones 22.00 and the other is either 81.00 or 16.00...i cant tell.  I think I'm going to get a paper route for a month. pay em off. I cant believe thats what my life is coming down to. A paper route.

CHECK THIS OUT!

Today I'm doing "Invisible Children" a organization against Child warriors in Uganda, these childern get kidnapped and addicted to drugs and are trained to kill. Find out more info and what you can do to help. Watch the video below and for more info follow the link to the site. BTW I'm not much a fan of fall out boy, but this is a music video they did for the cause.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAgbZdrWiN4&ob=av3e (it wont let me upload it for some reason so just follow the link :))

Link to the site

No teenage angst involved

"Sold my life to bring the rain, maybe to wash me clean,

sold my soul to stop the pain, hoping you would set me free,

all your fear, all your pain, you know that you can lay it all on me,

you can lay it all on me."

Once you go into Google and copy and paste that, you will know who my favorite musicians are. This song, this one song, get's to me, listen to it if you can. It's amazing, it's inspiring and it's powerful. It's one of those songs you listen to and you get the shivers, your heart skips beats, and you sometimes even get a cold sweat. Strangest thing, I have no idea what it means, or how it relates to me. One day though, I shall figure it out. (Picture done by me)

I thought I would start my blog with that because the name of the blog is "To Bring The Rain" very inspired by the mysterious way's of the song. And if your still reading it's good to know i have captured someones attention with just my words for this long. And if you want to know what this blog is about, it's about... happiness, and how to get there when your in a rough spot that you just can't seem to get out of. Although, I'm not sure that's where I'll end up in this journey, but that's where I hope it will end, in happiness.

So let's start the introductions shall we? I'm Camille Rain, age 18, taken (and very much in love), Incredibly creative, Photoshop GENIUS! concert junkie (keep reading this blog and I'll inform you how to get free tickets to just about any concert), Contest ADDICT(in another post I'll show you what I've won and give you some tips!), I've got a lot going for me right?! I seem awesome! Oh! I should probably mention that the main point of this blog is because I'm jobless, licenseless, and GED/highschool diplomaless.

No one ever really had my back in my family, there wasn't much support. A lot of criticism and it was a lot harder then people think. But! I'm not here to bitch about my life, I'm here to make it better! I don't know how to be an adult, but dammit, I'm about to learn with the support of my best friends, and my amazing boyfriend.

Follow the blog and learn a lot, read my stories, my thoughts, and I promise you, somehow it'll help you in the long run.

CHECK THIS OUT!!!

Something else I'm going to do every time I update is inform you about a page, a organization, a band or something else like that.

Today's organization is the Sophie Lancaster Organization.

This girl died protecting her boyfriend in a fatal beating. Why? Because they were "goth". Today is the girl's 4 year anniversary of her death. Watch this tear jerking music video in her honor and follow the links to see how you can help stop abuse for something so silly as to how people look. Check it and tell me your feedback.

Watch the video by clicking here

Visit the website by clicking here